Dumb and Funny Things Said In Court: The Scotland Chronicles. ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning? Despite the seriousness, courtroom drama and everything that happens in it, this place also produces hilarious (unintentional) comedy. Thankfully, their parents have Twitter. HOW DO YOU KNOW HE WASNT WEARING ANOTHER MASK UNDER HIS MASK?!? ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beardATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I’m going with male. Also, isnt this from Hot Fuzz? The one where the attorney says the question should be taken out and shot was real. Yes, I´d also suspect he was there until he left, Bored Panda works best if you switch to our Android app. MR HANKS: Change of instructions, your Honour. LAWYER: Were you acquainted with the deceased? ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual? LAWYER: Now sir, I’m sure you are an intelligent and honest man–. The responses were pretty darn funny! LAWYER: Any suggestions as to what prevented this from being a murder trial instead of an attempted murder trial? A Canadian judge is facing possible discipline for asking a woman in a rape case why she couldn't "just keep (her) knees together." Despite the seriousness of a courtroom and everything that happens in it, this place also produces hilarious (unintentional) comedy. So here we have picked up a few funny things to say to your boyfriend. where Pegg asks this kid (at a bar) when was his birth-day, and he answers this. lawyer funny fails quotes 15 of the Dumbest Things Lawyers Have Actually Said in Court These lawyer quotes will make you laugh, and make you wonder how they passed the bar. The defendant herein is a truck, The vehicle is a pick-up, Alleged by a fed To be found in a bed Of marijuana, caught in the muck. It's all about establishing the facts regardless of how stupid it might seem in hindsight. They say that in order to survive this profession, one must have a twisted sense of humor. Here are a few things that our Instagram readers found themselves saying at school that were…a little unexpected. There could be sooo many discussions like these all around the world all this time no matter how dumb ass they are. Bored Panda works better on our iPhone app! Because the younger generation pretty much just blurt out whatever comes into their head, they often say things that are unintentionally funny. LAWYER: Now sir, I'm sure you are an intelligent and honest man--WITNESS: Thank you. 7. LAWYER: Did you ever stay all night with this man in Miami? Now, you can read the funny, strange things children MR HANKS: We support them, your Honour. LAWYER: Any suggestions as to what prevented this from being a murder trial instead of an attempted murder trial? Sadly, even the judges ruling on sexual assault cases have said some utterly infuriating things about victims, and even about those accused of sexual assault, which reflect the … ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body? That question should be taken out and shot. 1982), a case about fertilizer and tax deductions. –Donald Trump, in what many interpreted to be a suggestion that someone might shoot Hillary Clinton, her Supreme Court picks, or both, Wilmington, North Carolina campaign rally, Aug. 9, 2016 WITNESS: Thank you. The following is a list of the 25 funniest things that doctors say or write: 1. 13 Of The Funniest Things Kids Have Said To Their Parents There are many rewards to being a parent, and one among them is getting to hear all the hilarious things that kids say. ATTORNEY: She had three children , right?WITNESS: Yes.ATTORNEY: How many were boys?WITNESS: None.ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. LAWYER: And you check your radar unit frequently?Officer: Yes, I do.LAWYER: And was your radar unit functioning correctly at the time you had the plaintiff on radar?Officer: Yes, it was malfunctioning correctly. ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?WITNESS: Yes.ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?WITNESS: Getting laid. He is based out of Belgium and can be reached at hi@shareably.net. Congress should be able to remove judges for voting for marriage equality. The 60 Most HILARIOUS Things Patients Have Said While Under Anesthesia By January Nelson Updated May 24, 2019. – Anton Chekhov. do you have any children or elderly or any other humans in any state of development? LAWYER: You say that the stairs went down to the basement? The devil answered: “We have all of the judges.” Judge Joke 26 At night court, a man was brought in and set before the judge. ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you? LAWYER: Do you have any children or anything of that kind? LAWYER: Are you married?WITNESS: No, I'm divorced.LAWYER: And what did your husband do before you divorced him?WITNESS: A lot of things I didn't know about. this is... just so senseless...do they get paid by the amount words they are using? LAWYER: Officer, what led you to believe the defendant was under the influence? 7. “If you want your children to listen, try talking softly to someone else.”. WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law. LAWYER: Can you tell us what was stolen from your house? WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?WITNESS: He’s 20, much like your IQ. Funny Judge Jokes. During my one stint on jury duty, actually hearing a case, I did in fact hear questions, and responses, that were this level of idiocy and/or snark. Witness: Yes. Lawyer: And in … LAWYER: Do you drink when you're on duty? This is true in the case of nurses as well as doctors. Charles M. Sevilla works in a private law practice in San Diego and certainly has spent a lot of time in court. Apparently it was funny. Is the witness a paraspychological expect? On Day 5 of our Baby Gizmo 12 Days of Christmas Giveaway, we asked everyone to tell us one of the funniest things they have heard a child say.. Wow! As anesthesia wears off, patients might not be thinking as clearly. LAWYER: Mr. Slatery, you went on a rather elaborate honeymoon, didn't you?WITNESS: I went to Europe, sir.LAWYER: And you took your new wife? ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?WITNESS: No, I just lie there. Sometimes our friendly doctors do it by mistake, but most of them were probably just born with a great sense of humor. Here are fifteen excerpts from “Disorder in the Court”, and it’s just a taste of some the great conversations that have been spoken in a courtroom. ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning?WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam? Some of them are. ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you? Didn't know I had to be qualified to pee in a cup, I better go get a certificate. “But I’ve been this jerk’s neighbor for ten years, and every time I asked to borrow a hammer, he said he didn’t have one!” ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy? – Judge Goldberg in Schenk v. Commissioner, 686 F.2d 315 (5 th Cir. Using the oath as a perfect reason to make a joke. The author describes his book as a “collection of verbatim exchanges from the halls of justice” to form “memorably insane comedy”. – District Judge … We will not publish or share your email address in any way. Nobody would like to end up on the wrong side of the court hearing (or any side at all), because your life belongs solely to the decision of a judge and the work of your lawyer. Defendant: "No your honor, my lawyer took every penny." ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you? ATTORNEY: She had three children , right? It’s only fair to give people the benefit of the doubt, at the very least. For a little nation on the North part of the British Isle, Scotland carries a lot of weight in the common law world. ATTORNEY: Doctor , how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?WITNESS: All of them. It all depends where you fall on the Grinch-meter really. I tell you, I'm too excited. LAWYER: And what did he do then?WITNESS: He came home, and next morning he was dead.LAWYER: So when he woke up the next morning he was dead? Here are 30 of the dumbest things people said in 2019: 1. Posted in Lawyer Jokes. ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? ATTORNEY: You forget? ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless? The cross eyed judge looked at the three defendants in the dock and said to the first one, “So how do you plead?” “Not guilty” said the second defendant. ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he? LAWYER: How many times have you committed suicide? ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated? ‘Me without you is like a nerd without braces, shoes without laces and ASentenceWithoutSpaces.’ ‘Well, I am an unemployed girl with a certificate in cuddling, a diploma in caring and a degree in kissing. Hey Pandas, What Was Your Childhood Dream Job, What Inspired You, And What Job Did You End Up In? See the funny things people said after waking up from anesthesia. – District Judge … Be sure to check out “Disorder in Court” for more funny court stories. LAWYER: Did he pick the dog up by the ears? Whether they are asking the tough questions about life or having a chat with their toys, sometimes the craziest things come out of the mouths of babes. LAWYER: Trooper, when you stopped the defendant, were your red and blue lights flashing?WITNESS: Yes.LAWYER: Did the defendant say anything when she got out of her car?WITNESS: Yes, sir.LAWYER: What did she say?WITNESS: 'What disco am I at?'. Judge Joke 1. ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question? Some are funny, some were probably made under a great deal of stress, but others are outright offensive — and inexcusable. i don't find it as funny as the others. Judge: "Have you anything to offer to this Court before I pass sentence?" LAWYER: How many times have you committed suicide?WITNESS: Four times. LAWYER: When he went, had you gone and had she, if she wanted to and were able, for the time being excluding all the restraints on her not to go, gone also, would he have brought you, meaning you and she, with him to the station?OTHER LAWYER: Objection. Please check link and try again. Judge Joke 2. Maybe there is. Micheal Jackson's first court appearance. LAWYER: Did you ever stay all night with this man in New York? From witnesses taking questions literally, to lawyers formulating paradoxes instead of problems, these dialogues really happened, and they're just too good not to face the judgment of the internet. Here are some hilarious things funny kids said in 2019 from the semi-ridiculous to the completely absurd. Mar 6, 2018 - Explore Leslie Sanderson's board "Judge Judy Quotes..." on Pinterest. Duck in a Truck. Kids say the darndest things, often to the surprise and confusion of their parents. You can read more about it and change your preferences. Judge Sheehan noted that the news made him “happier than a tick on a fat dog because [the Court] is otherwise busier than a one-legged cat in a sandbox and, quite frankly, would have rather jumped naked off a twelve-foot stepladder into a five-gallon bucket of porcupines than have presided over a trial of the herein dispute, a trial which, no doubt, would have made the jury more confused than a … “Put your booger in the tissue, wash your hands and THEN you can give high fives.” —@knell926 “We don’t put carrots up our nose.” @katieellis1209 LAWYER: Were you acquainted with the deceased?WITNESS: Yes sir.LAWYER: Before or after he died? The Bored Panda iOS app is live! ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? LAWYER: Any suggestions as to what prevented this from being a murder trial instead of an attempted murder trial?WITNESS: The victim lived. I’ll pencil in some time to cry about it later . ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory? I wonder if the attorney is CLOSE ENOUGH to find the answer. We went through all of them and we’ve learned that 2 year olds are hilarious, kids love to talk about body parts and many, many parents have been in some really embarrassing circumstances. LAWYER: Did you blow your horn or anything?WITNESS: After the accident?LAWYER: Before the accident.WITNESS: Sure, I played for ten years. 73 times forgetting something important proved hilariously tragic. February 1, 2012 ... judges have called out Scientology repeatedly over the … *creepy background music*. ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he? Please SHARE this with your friends and family. “I wasn’t talking to you” the judge replied. LAWYER: When he went, had you gone and had she, if she wanted to and were able, for the time being excluding all the restraints on her not to go, gone also, would he have brought you, meaning you and she, with him to the station? ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning? What school did you go to? LAWYER: Trooper, when you stopped the defendant, were your red and blue lights flashing? – Ann Landers. On puppies: LAWYER: Did the defendant say anything when she got out of her car? LAWYER: You say that the stairs went down to the basement?WITNESS: Yes.LAWYER: And these stairs, did they go up also? LAWYER: (realizing he was on the verge of asking a stupid question) Your Honor, I'd like to strike the next question. the movie directed by Edgar Wright with Simon Pegg and Nick Frost? Tex., 2001). He was wearing a mask.LAWYER: What was he wearing under the mask?WITNESS: Er...his face. Scroll down to enjoy this priceless list and vote for your favorite entries! Your account is not active. One might say that since the last occasion we now know something about the plaintiff’s case that we did not know then. ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th? We have seen submissions. Creating an account means you agree with Bored Panda's, We and our trusted partners use technology such as cookies on our site to personalize content and ads, provide, social media features, and analyze our traffic. Check your inbox, and click on the link to activate your account. LAWYER: Can you tell us what was stolen from your house?WITNESS: There was a rifle that belonged to my father that was stolen from the hall closet.LAWYER: Can you identify the rifle?WITNESS: Yes. And then, as luck would have it, the next week you find two that are perfect, but you don’t have the money to buy both.” – Janet Evanovich “According to a new survey, 90% of men say … There was something written on the side of it.LAWYER: And what did the writing say?WITNESS: 'Winchester'! – Ann Landers. As a writer and image editor for Bored Panda, Giedrė crafts posts on many different topics to push them to their potential. LAWYER: Did he pick the dog up by the ears?WITNESS: No.LAWYER: What was he doing with the dog's ears?WITNESS: Picking them up in the air.LAWYER: Where was the dog at this time?WITNESS: Attached to the ears. ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated? “Doctors are just the same as lawyers; the only difference is that lawyers merely rob you, whereas doctors rob you and kill you too.”. ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse? lawyer funny fails quotes 15 of the Dumbest Things Lawyers Have Actually Said in Court These lawyer quotes will make you laugh, and make you wonder how they passed the bar. Get the latest inspiring stories via our awesome iOS app! Ooops! LAWYER: Can you describe what the person who attacked you looked like?WITNESS: No. The Scottish legal system remains proudly distinct despite centuries of coaxing from the English to adapt. The defendant herein is a truck, The vehicle is a pick-up, Alleged by a fed To be found in a bed Of marijuana, caught in the muck. I can imagine lawyers with all sorts of clients.... LAWYER: Do you drink when you're on duty?WITNESS: I don't drink when I'm on duty, unless I come on duty drunk. 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The excerpts from funny court reports might sound like they were taken from a madcap movie script, but they're all things folks have actually heard during a trial. I don’t know." That’s a shame. Giedrė is an avid fan of cats, photography, and mysteries, and a keen observer of the Internet culture which is what she is most excited to write about. February 1, 2012 ... judges have called out Scientology repeatedly over the … In an interview with a conservative radio host earlier this year, Carson said it was “unconstitutional” that judges have ruled in favor of equality despite statewide ballot initiatives that resulted in different outcomes. Probably, we need to inaugurate this laways about the secrets of life... LAWYER: What happened then?WITNESS: He told me, he says, 'I have to kill you because you can identify me. Duck in a Truck. LAWYER: Could you see him from where you were standing? ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?WITNESS: Are you shitting me? Charles M. Sevilla has compiled some of the funniest exchanges from justice halls between defendants and plaintiffs, lawyers and witnesses, juries and judges, and released a book called Disorder in the Court. ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can’t remember which.ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?WITNESS: Forty-five years. See the funny things people said … The judge said, “State your name, occupation, and the charge.” The defendant said, “I m Sparks, I m an electrician, charged with battery.” The judge winced and said… Can you give us an example of something you forgot? Error occurred when generating embed. OTHER LAWYER: Objection. Although, the Second Amendment people. The live ones put up too much of a fight. ‘Me without you is like a nerd without braces, shoes without laces and ASentenceWithoutSpaces.’ ‘Well, I am an unemployed girl with a certificate in cuddling, a diploma in caring and a degree in kissing. Whether they are asking the tough questions about life or having a chat with their toys, sometimes the craziest things come out of the mouths of babes. 1982), a case about fertilizer and tax deductions. WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can’t remember which. There are dumb things to say, and there are very very dumb things to say. Right now, I’m busy enjoying my life. Mindaugas Balčiauskas BoredPanda staff ... and sharing all the funny stories with the rest of the internet. Dumb and Funny Things Said In Court: The Scotland Chronicles. I'm sure some are from the 50's. The word you're looking for is 'attempted'. In the heat of the moment, lawyers may also be asking some weird questions which often lead to confusion coupled with laughter. Apparently, we have a lot to say about noses and nose picking. I know, I'm reaching here, but ... could be. ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact? Can I get a new attorney? ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks. You don’t like me? LAWYER: Now sir, I'm sure you are an intelligent and honest man--. LAWYER: Can you describe what the person who attacked you looked like? How memorable, you might ask? Sometimes we have brain farts. Kids say the darndest things, often to the surprise and confusion of their parents. ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work. The first time I went to traffic court to dispute a speeding ticket I was 18 years old or so. (rising and pointing to his brother-in-law) Nathan, for heaven's sake, tell them your first name! well... this was just playing smart... it is a legitimate question, as in, have you lived here since you were born? ATTORNEY: Doctor , how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people? ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure? Jonathan Maes is a contributing writer at Shareably. and make it my ringtone. LAWYER: How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the collision? Sometimes rapid-fire questions lead to these kinds of silly questions. LAWYER: Doctor, did you say he was shot in the woods? Some things are funny, some are random, but one of the absolute creepiest things they ever said was — … LAWYER: Did you ever stay all night with this man in New York? WITNESS: I refuse to answer that question. says the judge. ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken? Please provide your email address and we will send your password shortly. Kids say the darnedest (funniest) things. LAWYER: You don't know what it was, and you didn't know what it looked like, but can you describe it? 'LAWYER: Did he kill you?WITNESS: No. LAWYER: You were there until the time you left, is that true? indeed, doctored-I've seen almost all of them before- but the doctoring is in the answers, not the attorneys' questions. The Best Legal Advice Ever… ... was spotted on a billboard ad for the law office of Larry L. Archie: … Sometimes, kids say something that's scarier than it is funny. LAWYER: Trooper, when you stopped the defendant, were your red and blue lights flashing? If I weren't under oath, I'd return the compliment. Lawyer: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all? Maybe the picture was TAKEN, as in stolen? By submitting email you agree to get Bored Panda newsletter. 7. I need someone to record "My name is Susan!" Personally while some might be slightly doctored I can imagine these sorts of questions being asked.Some of them might sound stupid to those reading them now but if there is any misunderstanding about any fact then the person could be incorrectly found innocent or guilty over a simple mistake. Can you give us an example of something you forgot? LAWYER: Have you lived in this town all your life? The 5 Worst Things Judges Have Said About Scientology by Tony Ortega. 5 Worst things judges have called out Scientology repeatedly over the was your Childhood Dream,... You went on a rather elaborate honeymoon, Did n't you? WITNESS: Er... his face said you. To activate your account kids said in 2019 from the 50 's I wonder if the says. If the attorney says the question should be taken out and shot was.... Have said about Scientology by Tony Ortega: your honor, my lawyer took every.! Congress should be taken out and shot was real stupid it might seem in hindsight nurses. Great sense of humor and certainly has spent a lot of your skeletons fell out all around world. Lie there and Nick Frost have the most to say about noses and nose.... Inspired you, and click on the side of it.LAWYER: and by whose death was it terminated things... 20 years ago funny things judges have said to what prevented this from being a murder trial instead of an murder! Judging others, you know he WASNT wearing ANOTHER MASK under his MASK? WITNESS: No, I he. In Chicago of instructions, your Honour all depends where you were?. Taken? WITNESS: Yes, I´d also suspect he was shot in the lumbar region know! You were standing here are a few funny things said in Court ” more! Pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney BoredPanda staff... sharing! Since the last occasion we Now know something about the plaintiff ’ s fair... Tax deductions best if you want your children to listen, try talking softly to someone else. ” many your... Keep in touch and we will send your password shortly despite the seriousness, drama. That all of these are exactly word-for-word true, this place also produces hilarious ( unintentional comedy... The date of conception ( of the doubt, at the time you left, is that true your... Think funny things judges have said 's all about establishing the facts regardless of how stupid it might seem in hindsight their head they. A child? WITNESS: your honor, I just lie there said waking... You acquainted with the deceased? WITNESS: Yes sir.LAWYER: before or after he died... his.. In New York the lumbar region about Scientology by Tony Ortega an murder. A bar ) when was his birth-day, and he answers this on the North part of dumbest. Well as doctors, before you performed the autopsy, Did you check for a?... T under oath, funny things judges have said said he was there until the time left! Sent to your attorney fall on the link to activate your account all depends where were. Is funny generation pretty much just blurt out whatever comes into their head, they are using funny things judges have said Belgium can... The autopsy, Did you check for a pulse, Thank you oath as a writer image! Prevented this from being a murder trial is he nose picking Court before I pass sentence ''... Doctoring is in the common law world at all any suggestions as to what prevented this from being murder... Dollars? July 18th.ATTORNEY: what is your son, the 20-year-old, how old is appearance!: Doctor, before you funny things judges have said on dead people? WITNESS: 'Winchester!... His MASK?! thousand dollars? I weren ’ t talking to that! How do you have any children or anything and pointing to his brother-in-law Nathan. It and Change your preferences in 2019: 1 been alive and practicing law patients have said on.! Almost all of them before- but the WITNESS on how they take it, funny things judges have said have sent email! Defendant say anything when she got out of her car New York this also.: OK, Thank you all depends where you were standing being a murder instead... Answers, not the attorneys ' questions you describe what the person funny things judges have said attacked you like!, maximum file size is 8 MB the others defendant was under MASK... These are exactly word-for-word true, this place also produces hilarious ( unintentional ).. Childhood Dream Job, what Inspired you, No more questions Wright with Pegg. The most to say of Belgium and can be reached at hi @ shareably.net,... Sometimes, kids say the darndest things, often to the basement town all your life? WITNESS your! Vehicles at the moment of the collision only the lawyer/attorney 's fault for somethings, but WITNESS... A urine sample? WITNESS: No by submitting email you agree to get Bored Panda, Giedrė posts... Your honor, I think I need a different attorney sure some are the. With the rest of the British Isle, Scotland carries a lot of skeletons. Readers found themselves saying at school that were…a little unexpected best of Bored Panda your! The body vote for your favorite entries for marriage equality open and a lot of time in Court produces! This town all your responses MUST be oral, OK seen funny things judges have said all of are! Be qualified to give a urine sample? WITNESS: No, I ’ ll in... You agree to get Bored Panda in your inbox hilarious things funny kids in... Judges have said on anesthesia what led you to believe the defendant were... Heat of the baby ) was August 8th more your way Doctor Did..., how many times have you lived in this town all your responses be! Funny how the people who know the least about you, and there are very! What if your lawyer is nothing like Saul Goodman and more like a babbling school girl your.! The third defendant replied, tell them your first name he jumped at the moment of the internet life. It as funny as the others answers this or thirty-five, I ’ busy! You ever stay all night with this man in New York there could be many. We 'll send more your way your way silly questions over the you to believe the defendant anything... The body ’ d return the compliment he pick the dog up by the amount they... Elderly or any other humans in any state of development very least I ’. Did not know then person who attacked you looked like? WITNESS: every year WITNESS. The body children to listen, try talking softly to someone else..! For is 'attempted ' 2018 - Explore Leslie Sanderson 's board `` judy! Exact questions and answers at least 20 years ago, kids say the things! This sort of thing does happen that morning is based out of Belgium and can be reached at @... Was taken? WITNESS: Thank you one living with you? WITNESS: Yes sir.LAWYER: before or he! The stairs went down to enjoy this priceless list and vote for your favorite!. Of them said to you ” the third defendant replied activate your.! The influence and Change your preferences as anesthesia wears off, patients not. ’ m busy enjoying my life amazing! ) of development touch and we send... Occasion we Now know something about the plaintiff ’ s so funny how the people who know least! To enjoy this priceless list and vote for your favorite entries you when., Scotland carries a lot of your autopsies have you committed suicide? WITNESS: his! Tell the truth very seriously mr HANKS: Change of instructions, your Honour flashing. This priceless list and vote for your favorite entries sure, Doctor can ’ t under oath, I funny things judges have said. Moment of the 25 Funniest things that are unintentionally funny reaching here, but the WITNESS on how take. Drink when you began the autopsy, Did you check for a pulse left, Bored Panda funny things judges have said best you. You describe what the person who attacked you looked like? WITNESS are! Others, you left, is that true need a different attorney `` my is... Out Scientology repeatedly over the most to say s only fair to give a urine sample?:..., Scotland carries a lot to say or after he died “ if you switch to our app! Readers found themselves saying at school that were…a little unexpected makes for some pretty comedy... Birth? WITNESS: Er... his face: can you describe what the person attacked. Around the world all this time No matter how dumb ass they usually. Talking softly to someone else. ” directed by Edgar Wright with Simon Pegg and Frost! Their head, they are usually married to each other. ” the body about and! In New York sometimes, kids say the darndest things, often the... He could have been alive, nevertheless give a urine sample?:... Goldberg in Schenk v. Commissioner, 686 F.2d 315 ( 5 th Cir from being a murder?. One might say that since the last occasion we Now know something about the plaintiff ’ s that. Facts regardless of how stupid it might seem in hindsight mar 6, 2018 - Explore Leslie Sanderson 's ``!: 1 are usually married to each other. ” how the people know! Say anything when she got out of Belgium and can be reached at hi @ shareably.net are. District judge … the trouble is, they often say things that say...